Obituary of a Smart Alec

Obituary of a Smart Alec

January 22, 1997

Edward J. Bear (the smart alec) was run over repeatedly with a four wheel drive vehicle shortly after its owner read his own obituary. The police have declined to press charges noting that a dead person can not be charged.

The accused indicated that he felt no remorse. "Quite the contrary. I feel that a dead person is less likely to repeat the offense in the future. In other words death is a real deterrent."

When his wife was asked for a comment, she remarked that she was under the impression that he had died several years earlier, was obviously mistaken. She feels that his death is an improvement and that he actually seems more active now that he is dead.

Ed was known for his quick wit and his slowness of avoiding certain automobiles. A memorial will be held for on the sixth Sunday at the El Sobrante International Airport in the middle of the main runway.