A New Loyalty Oath

When I first heard about RACES I thought it was a red neck organization for Hams. Then someone explained it to me and I was relieved. Then I heard you had to take a loyalty oath then I thought it was a group of red necked, war mongering Hams. Then it was explained to me that since they were technically volunteer state employees, and that all state employees had to take the loyalty oath. Then I read the loyalty oath and was sure that it was for red necked, war mongering, radical Hams.

The fact of the matter is that the loyalty oath is out of date. It doesn't take into accounts todays problems. What we need is not a new loyalty oath, but a set of loyalty oath to fit the needs of the different individuals that make up our society. That way a person could be as loyal as they wanted to be.

Berkeley Oath I hereby, solemnly swear, except on the radio, to uphold the constitution of the Unite States of America. Unless it is harmful to plants, animals or my ability to watch football.

Redding Oath I hereby, solemnly swear a lot, to uphold the constitution of the United States of America. To protect against communist infiltration. To offer the life of my dog and myself if necessary in the line of duty.

Swinging Single I hereby, solemnly swear to uphold the constitution of the United States of America. I promise to only use my RACES Id in cases of emergencies or to impress the people around me.

All Purpose I hereby, solemn swear to __________________ the constitution of the _____________________. I also promise to do nothing that would inconvience myself.